Road To My Marriage

I’m still in a trance thinking of the fact that I’ll be married in less than 100 days. I’m super elated and super excited thinking of the fact that I’M GETTING MARRIED! My whole system is vibrating with incoherent happiness.

For so long, I’d thought that I’ll have a love marriage but that was not to be. I’d thought that I’ll get married within two years of getting my permanent job. And given the job scarcity, this could have taken a long time. But fortune favours the brave and I was no exception! 2012 – The year of doom – brought good news, permanent appointment as an Assistant Professor at Institute of Science, Nagpur and then this!

Two marriages happened during this time, one of Kaustubh in December and the other of Amoni in February. During Kaustubh’s marriage, I was more concerned about my pending appointment and hence the thought of getting married didn’t cross my mind. But the one of Amoni did induce my thoughts in this direction. I was busy whole March with examinations and hence didn’t get the needed time to do anything. In April, I asked my parents about my marriage. They said that they were game for it but there was a hiccup. We live in Nagpur and they wanted me to marry an educated, cultured Gandhabanik (my caste) girl. Now, such girls, in plenty, were to be found in West Bengal. And that would require the help of our relatives and a lot of time. I told them an easier way is the internet i.e. the online matrimonial sites. They were susceptible at first. Then I researched a bit and prepared a list of prospective brides. After short listing few girls they gave a go ahead and I uploaded my profile on the afternoon of 9^th April. That very evening I received a call from a gentleman from Asansol inquiring about me. That gentleman is now going to be my Father-in-law.

After talking to me and my father, he invited us over to Asansol. We were anyways going to my uncle’s in May and hence decided to mix business with pleasure. So, on 20^th May, I went to Asansol with my uncle and mother to meet my future wife. I was nervous and susceptible about the reception we would receive. They were certainly richer and more sophisticated than we could ever be. But my FIL met with such warmth, it seemed that we were long lost relatives. That struck a chord immediately. My Mother-in-law is also a gracious lady and extended optimum hospitality to us. After another round of Questions & Answers, it was sure that they liked us. But still the final frontier remained. The girl had to like me and I had to like her!

Well when she came, my heart skipped a beat. Fandi Sir had once told me that sometimes you see a girl everyday but nothing happens and while sometimes the resonance happens instantly. In his case, it resulted in his marriage. And so would in my case. I was on cloud nine and pinched myself to confirm that I was not dreaming. Later when I talked to my mother, she had the same thoughts as well. I still don’t know what Pinki thought, yes that’s her name. But her shy smile did give me a hope. Then we were asked into another room to talk! She was calm as still water and I was nervous and confused as a stormy nullah. I spoke so many things, half of which made no sense to me even. But at the end of it, it was confirmed that we liked each other. My family liked their family and my mother even went ahead and declared over the phone to my father that she had selected her Daughter-in-law. Now it was necessary for their family to like my family as well. My mother invited them over to Nagpur. Her father accepted the proposal and promised to come in July.

And then started the waiting game. I was afraid if they would change their mind. She is too pretty and rich not to choose me but I was not interested in going for another trip to Bengal to find a girl after being sure that she was compatible with me in more than many ways. At last her father came on 29^th July. He stayed with us for about a day and went back satisfied with me, my job and my family. On the way home, he confirmed the marriage with only the date remaining to be fixed. He promised to come back on 17^th and back he came along with his wife and brother to do the final round of talks. Here I must say that I like my FIL lot more than my wife (she might get angry but nonetheless the truth is the truth). It is more because of him than anyone else that I’m getting married on 24^th November. He rolled the ball and it’s still rolling because of him. They saw what they had to see and we saw what we had to. Now, the whole family union has happened and the wait is only for the actual date to arrive and get the job done.

Our both set of parents will go to all lengths to make it a memorable occasion and we have to help them in doing that. Mark Twain said that “To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.” I am just eagerly waiting for the days to pass as quickly as possible so that we both can do that together.

Two perfect individuals cannot make a perfect couple. In our case as well, we both have our share of deficiencies. But it must be remembered, breakdown in symmetries only lead to beautiful stable creations.

Till the Great Indian Marriage Juggernaut of ours come to an end and she comes over here permanently, I’ve to live with the excitement that I feel almost all the time. The topics of conversation in my home have become monochromatic as have my dreams! They are all Pink(i) in colour. Till then the long calls and the long wait!

P.S.: I always chided Kingshuk about his marathon talks with his girl-friend. I was surprised what could two individuals talk for so long every day. I still don’t know the answer but my mobile bills are telling another story. But as a matter of fact, I’m liking it to the hilt.